Bargain Basement

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All in a day in sunny South Africa!

This is an illustration based upon the following true recollections:-

Pretoria - A raging hormonal sheboon soldier was so enraged about her salary deductions that she charged down, nostrils flaring, on a South African Defence force salaries clerk and knocked out a front tooth.
Katrien Viviers, 42, says before she could utter a word the blundering cow, who was with Military Health Service, just stormed at her and let rip with a haymaker.
"I'm so upset, I'm still shivering," said the traumatised Viviers, who's a senior clerk in the adjustments section.
"I was just doing my job, and I got assaulted for it. Besides which, slack, useless lame and lazy coonboon guards were so slow to respond that my colleagues had to pull the stinking, sweaty bloat off me."
The incensed premenstrual sergeant pitched up at the pay office in Pretoria city centre on Thursday morning with enquiries about deductions from her salary in terms of certain garnishee orders.
Garnishee orders, stipulated amounts that have to be deducted before salaries are paid out, are issued by courts on behalf of debtors who are too brainless and dumb to manage their own personal finances.
'Threatened to shoot me'
Viviers said: "I wasn't even there when she started to argue with my colleagues.
"She was talking to one of my directors when I came down the passage.
"The next moment she stormed at me and struck me on the mouth with her fist.
"My colleagues tried to stop her, but she struggled to hit me again. She also screamed that she would shoot me," said an upset Viviers.
"She swore at me and would have flattened me if they didn't stop her, because she's much bigger than I am. When my director remonstrated with her, she shouted that she hit only whites."
The Military Police and Swat team arrived shortly afterwards to tranquilize and lure away the simian ape with buckets of KFC, malt liquor and maxi tampons.

Football, it's coming home???

Sooner or later, FIFA is gonna' have to live with the reality that South Africa, riven as it is with crime, murder and corruption, couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, never mind a World Cup tournament!

hi-Tech Weapon Systems on trial!

Now you may well think that this is supposed to be humorous, but that what they thought about Hitler when he first appeared in Munich!

From one bunch of clowns, about another bunch!

I see that Zambia has spoken out about the chaos which is Zimbabwe.


Bit late for that, you grinning bunch of black tree-swinging apes!

Voter's Choice?

Viewed a video over on Battle for Britain, well worth the time to run the tape!

I don't believe the BNP are the same as the Muslim Council, or whatever name they're hiding under this week, and I don't believe many others do either!

"Gizz a kiss!"

I see that the Scottish 'QUEER' lobby has got their feet (is it their feet we should be worried about?) firmly into the Education trough with their information on how to have safe Homosexual sex!

Yep, the old story about the guy who said "When I was a boy, they were just not tolerated; when I was middle-aged, they were looked upon with disapproval; nowadays they are welcomed; thank the Lord I'll be dead before their disgusting behaviour becomes compulsory!" is fast approaching reality!

Say 'Wanker' in Polish!

I see that MULTI-CULTURALISM had triumphed once again as Council officials decided to install and use Road signs in POLISH because large numbers of immigrants kept getting lost.

I always thought that, in order to drive correctly, you had to be able to read ENGLISH, but obviously I am well past my sell-by date!

So now you have it! All I have to suss' out now is the correct Polish translation for BULLSHIT!!

Be warned!

Image lifted effortlessly from WhySouthAfricaSucks

No further comment needed, or given!

The long slow death of a Nation!

First they came for the farmers.
Then they came for the opposition.
Then they came for the judges.
Then they came for the journalists.
Then they came for the poor and the vendors.
Now they have come for the miners.


This is everyday life, in a land which once flowed with milk and honey!

All Cargo Catered For!

Pictures courtesy of my son Sean, who obviously has time on his hands!

Convictions; Courage

2. Full text of the FNB Anti Crime pamphlet:

Dear President Mbeki,

I am a proud, but concerned South African. Proud because I live in such a wonderful democracy. Proud because my country has been recognized by the World to host the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Proud because our economy is showing exceptional growth. And proud because we showed the world that peaceful settlement can be achieved through working together.
But I am also concerned.

Concerned because even though I live in the most prosperous country in Africa, our crime rates are the highest on the continent, far outstripping the poorest African countries. Concerned
because last year alone reported statistics recorded 18 528 murders, 54 926 rapes and 119 726 violent robberies.

I’m also concerned that crime is destroying our progress and threatens our dream of eliminating poverty and living in peace. As a result, the world continues to question the credibility of our progress.

Mr. President, I know you love this country as much as I do, so please make crime our Government’s Number 1 priority. As a committed South African I will be right behind you — because as our Nation’s history has shown, there’s nothing we can’t achieve when we work together.

Yours faithfully,
Signed,



This message was supposed to go in every copy of the South African Sunday Times; but it never appeared!

Why?

It was censored by the A.N.C. Government, and the First National Bank chickened out!

Only a 'FEW' were called!

Check out this call on this Website and see if you would care to sign up!

"Enquiries are ongoing!!"

Research always pays off!!!

We can now reveal that after many years of research, and continual searching for better engineering standards and efficiency ratings, the NEW South African Dynamic Sewage Screens can now be shown being demonstrated for the first time!

No longer Kaffirs, We's the boss!

It is with great pride, and not a small amount of trepidation, that this blog offers a world-exclusive; with the first pictures of the home-produced South African A.N.C. People's Car!

Using the same design methods as the late 'Onkel' Adolf with his VolksWagen, the system was updated to allow for black South African drivers, driving conditions and insurance demands, and the result, we are indeed proud to state,

looks like this:---

Downing Street rescue!!!

John Prescott immediately after allegedly fainting through overwork, or screwing, or something!

"Cor.r.r.r."

Now what is exactly the term I'm searching for? Hanging tight?"

Fiendishly clever, these hi-tech sneak thieves!!

>> WARNING:

Police are urging visitors to the city centre to be especially vigilant
for a new gang operating a slick routine that is aimed at stealing from
unwary persons. They say that the gang usually comprises four members.
While the three younger ones, all appearing to be cute and innocent,
divert their "mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness and
fun, the fourth the eldest of this gang of criminals - sneaks in from
behind the person's back to expertly rifle undetected through their
pockets and bags for any valuables being carried. The attached picture
taken from CCTV operating in the inner city shows the gang in operation.



alert courtesy of my Daughter Alice!!

Only the Lonely!!!

December the Seventh, 1941

At the going down of the sun, We shall remember them!!

The more, The merrier!!! Cheap booze!!

Any saving is a good saving!!!

British Workmanship!

No Comment Needed!!!

The newest Clearasil Skincare Product!

I don't normally do adverts, but I reckon this is a classic, so exceptions are made!

"....Allegedly......!!"

A 'first' for South Africa

This photo is definitely NOT a picture of that character TUTU, but something (or -one) similar!

Madonna and child

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Guy Ritchie was quoted as saying "that's the last time she goes out with my credit card for a little black number!"

"For that which you are about to receive...!!!"

How'zit going

Tony?

Not long

now, 'Boyo!!!








Lord Sainsbury, who has just resigned to 'allow more time for his charitable duties!!!'

Average British Construction Site

The Work-force has increased as per the Company Business Plan

That certain smile!

I see that the rag-head sense of decency is getting a run-around in America as well as in the U.K.!

Ginnnah Muhammad of Detroit was looking for her day in court, instead the case got tossed! Why? Simple; she refused to remove her veil, so the judge said "Everybody out!"

Why not remove it, when it's not as if there's something underneath we all haven't seen before?

Truth in Advertising

Road repairs get top priority in this New South Africa

The new South African fly-fisherman prepares for a good day's sport in a quiet lakeside spot!

Save money by D.I.Y.

 

Hat tip to SpeedCam for their spread of pix.

The (fourth) term that got away!

Honest, it was this long!!!

We don't need no thought control!

In the days of Apartheid, hundreds, if not thousands of schools were routinely burned to the ground. Black school children, incited by ANC propaganda which told them they were receiving inferior “Bantu education” would torch facilities while chanting “Liberation Before Education”. While the quality of black education was arguably inferior to that given to white kids, it did not stop people like Oliver Tambo, Nelson Mandela and many others to gain tertiary qualifications. Today, in the “liberated”, ANC-run South Africa, black schools are still burned down regularly.

So now, when the kids start looking for jobs, without the benefit of the education which they so happily helped to torch, is it any wonder that the reply comes courtesy of the banner?

"Never in the field of human conflict.."

 
To the memory of the four hundred and ninety-eight who died during this part of the conflict!

Jihadi Kodak Moment!

As this is the last time we'll be together before you fly, let's try one for the Family Album!

LEST WE FORGET!

2996

Get on the Dog and Bone!

Came across this little gem at Media Influencer, and thought it was truly a classic of the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Here's this guy has his mobile stolen on the Amtrak he uses to travel to work by, and the next thing he knows, there are photos of the thief's kids and dog up on Flickr!

Technology, sure is clever; there's just no getting past it!

And Thomas, who disbelieved, asked where the wounds were!

According to this bunch of 'eeejits', who obviously have far too little to do,

America planned and orchestrated the 9/11 attacks as an excuse to hit Iraq, Afghanistan and later Iran.

Airbus headin' for the Crapper!

Head. definition---Navy slang for Toilet!




Airbus also said that it was replacing the head of the A380 project, which has been hit by delay problems.

Now there's attention to detail!!!

One for my baby, and just one more for the road!!!

I see that Jan Egelund has denounced the use by Israel of cluster bombs as ‘shocking’ and ‘immoral’!

So now we have it, the world’s only organisation which is supposed to bring all people’s together has spoken, and condemned Israel for terrible deeds done and planned without heed for the innocent civilians who sat under the path of these vicious missiles!

The other side of the story, which comes from the Israeli side of the border, is rather muted, isn’t denounced in ringing tones by a leading politician, and hasn’t been given the publicity of a speech from the United Nations senior staff. So the 3,700 rockets which came hurtling down the range from the Hezb’allah sites in Southern Lebanon, were purely defensive, were not aimed at the cities, towns and farming communities or civilians, weren’t indiscriminately filled with fragmented steel which increased their killing power; and most of all were not at all ‘shocking’ or ‘immoral’!

Nice to know just where we all stand!

Be very careful who you trust with your name!

Saw an little item about what should be a totally un-interesting service which is being provided in many of our schools and universities, which is a computerised fingerprint recognition scanner which allows access to libraries, books, attendance and school meals registers.

In theory, there should be nothing further to state, as the primary purpose of the scanned fingerprint recognition is to verify that the fingerprint owner is registered as a valid user of the service. BUT, and it is a very big BUT, these databases are built by companies outside public scrutiny, with their prime purpose as a provider of shareholder value. So if the personal details of a schoolful of children, which are stored on a computerised system, are seen to be of commercial value to an outside agency, where are the safeguards which would prevent the un-authorised transfer of all this information? It is but a short step from a voluntary fingerprint scan to a demand for a DNA sample, on the grounds that if people have nothing to hide, they have nothing to fear!

Does your child go to a school which deploys this type of access system, and if so, were you asked for your consent before allowing your child to give their fingerprint? Were they photographed? Who holds the list of pictures available, and who scrutinises the people who have access to these data-bases of pictures and profiles of vulnerable kids?

When I was at school, I studied Latin for four years. It didn’t serve much of a purpose as a means of transmitting knowledge, because Latin is a dead language, but the masters used to laud the lessons to the very skies on the grounds that it served as a useful tool to organise your thinking processes! Maybe yes; maybe not, but I still remember one quotation which was a favourite of one of the teachers whom I respected for his mind and how he taught us: it was this:-

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" _

" Who shall keep watch over the watchers?"

One small step for a towel-head (times twenty-four)

I note that eleven of the Moronic Muslim Brigade of Liquidized Bombers have been charged, with presumably more to follow!

While not attempting to comment upon the status of these clowns, I would allow myself one small comment upon the process:-

Funny how they all get lawywered up so quickly! Are we just all plain stupid, or are we self-destructive? Why are we so quick to arrest these bastards? Let them all go for a ride in, say a Hercules, and once up at a decent altitude, lower the ramp door and invite them to achieve 'paradise'! Might not be the most seemly of judicial processes, but it might serve as a good warning to many of the other murderous clowns who may be thinking of following!

Things change, and sometimes for the better!!

Being dedicated to speaking my mind, as and when I see things changing I feel bound to report on such happenings. In the past, I have not always been as complimentary as I might have been when referring to, or discussing the reports being shown on the Aljazeera Satellite channel website. I have seen slanted and totally one-sided reports given headline status, with opposing or secondary viewpoints being given either no coverage, or dismissed as irrelevant; and I, along with many others, have laughed in derision at what was seen as another mouthpiece for the Arab and Islamic worlds, and a pretty shoddy mouthpiece at that!

However, I must state that things seem to have changed in Aljazeera-land, at least in both the spread and character of the coverage of the Israel / Hezbollah conflict; with a measured interview with an Israeli commentator given prominence in the daily news and comment section! This alongside a second interview with a Lebanese Government Minister which of course roundly condemns the "barbaric" and "monstrous" acts of the Israeli Armed Forces, while coyly stating that the Lebanese Government "did not agree" with the statements of the Hezbollah leader in which he said "they are fighting not only to defend Lebanon but they are fighting for the whole Arab region," and also that "The war will continue whether the Lebanese people like it or not."

The Aljazeera website still holds some of the slanted and edited pictures of the bombing effects at Cana, but since the B.B.C. as well as C.N.N. also parade them, one cannot single one news channel out when the rest are so equally at fault!

Aljazeera’s reporting of wartime fatal incidents has been, on the whole, of a high standard, both dispassionate and complete, and compares favourably with the old-style BBC World Service, now of course long gone from the air-waves!

Kill all of Hezbollah, and then you might have some peace!

Reading and viewing the newspapers and t.v. from around the world, the ordinary viewer is bound to come to the conclusion that the State of Israel is occupied in some massive strike against the civilian population of the Lebanon, and every broadcast and article which purveys this viewpoint hammers the message home; namely that the Jews are the aggressors, and must be stopped at all costs!

What is less publicised are the actual facts on the ground, where a well-financed and armed huge army of terrorists have systematically based their operations in the very midst of the towns and villages of the Southern areas of Lebanon, cynically waiting for the Israelis to break and react to the long-term bombardment of the Northern Gallilee. Once the Israeli bombs start to fall on their bunkers and rocket-launchers, killing the people who usually welcomed Hezbollah into their homes, the gullible reporters film evrything they are shown, and the television scenes are played out on the screens of the world, and the Jews are blamed for everything!

My message to Israel is the same as before; Take no notice of the weeping and wailing; for the ones who are directing the rockets are not the ones who are crying, they've had their own heads down for quite some time! Move the tanks in, crush these murdering sons-of-pigs, kill them all, and then you might have a little time to draw your breath before you have to start and clean house all over again!

The Job is worth doing well!!!

In response to the actions of the ISRAELI government in attacking the Lebanon and Gaza after the kidnap of their citizens, I have only TWO questions.

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL NOW?

The clowns need sorting; this time, do it properly!

Now you see it, and now you don't

On 17th March 1959, the Dalai Llama and his entourage, after receiving intelligence that the Chinese were about to invade and capture him, left on the treacherous and danger-strewn journey to safety in India.

Just remember that date! Forty-six years into the future, China sits, triumphant and happy (at least the Communist bosses do!) as their theft of an entire country sinks slowly down into the morass of international bad memories, while their rampant economy, (helped by many millions of near-slave labourers) goes from strength to strength!

Next time you buy a set of kitchen door-handles or a flourescent light for the same kitchen from your local D.I.Y. superstore, and marvel at how cheap they are, just remember that, apart from throwing people out of work in England who used to make the same handles as you have just purchased, you are also giving succour and support to a bloodthirsty regime of butchers and murderers, who killed an estimated 10,000 civilians during the first three days of the invasion; and who also have declared that Tibet is now part of China, and was ever thus!

Cease, Desist and Stop, I'm Distressed!!!

I see that the Blair 'Thought Police' are at it again! We are now supposed to bow down to the Almighty Tony, and refrain from poking fun at this bombastic self-inflated clown whose whole ethos for living is seemingly based on lies and deception!

Well I for one just do not agree; and so I would wholeheartedly call out for all to wear, display and write wherever we can, the sacred words which seem to be so "Distressing" to an un-named memeber of the public: namely:-

BOLLOCKS TO BLAIR